Nighttime Routine: How One Change Brought More Connection and Less Fighting

We started off the parenthood journey with a strict nighttime and bedtime routine.  After reading every single possible way to ensure more sleep, less crying, improved quality of life and all of the kittens in the world purring in harmony, I knew that the routine leading up to bedtime was the most important part of the day.  And given my level of postpartum anxiety, I did everything to ensure that every night went according to plan.

That was with the first child, and loosened up a bit with the second.  By the time the third came along, we were just doing our best to survive through bedtime.  Juggling 3 kids ages 3 and under was basically a circus and I was trying to be the ringleader. Except I had severe postpartum depression and I wasn’t really leading anything.

Getting through the chaos was a feat in and of itself.  Getting through it peacefully was another animal.  As the kids got a little older, every night became a fight.  A fight to take a shower. A fight to brush teeth. A fight to decide what show we would watch. A fight over who I would sing to first.

Since having kids, we’ve been very screen time limited. Our kids never had tablets, we rarely turned on the tv, we don’t allow them on our phones. But somewhere along the line with 3 littles, we gave in to watching one show before bed as a means of getting everyone to settle down (and so we could sit down for a few minutes too).

And then that turned into 3 short segments of each child’s pick because we couldn’t just watch one show since one show was one kids favorite and not another’s (this changed nightly). But then it turned into who got to choose first.

One night, we couldn’t find the remote. We literally turned over the entire house looking for this thing and when we couldn’t find it, we decided to play a game instead.

GAME CHANGER (no pun intended *wink*).

We decided on Uno. Quick, easy to learn, and a game all of us could play together. Even the three year old plays with us. Some nights he’s on somebody’s team and some nights he holds his own cards but asks for some help here and there.

What transpired after this one night was a new routine. After dinner, the kids play together for a few minutes while we clean up and then we announce it’s time for showers. They don’t fight us on showers because the sooner they get out, the sooner we can play.

One parent does the shuffling of cards and snack prep while the other helps with washing and pjs. Then we all come to the dining room table and everyone is ready to play!

We have a predetermined time set for ending game time and heading upstairs (7:45). Therefore, there is no fighting when it’s time to put the games away and head up. Sometimes we play a few different games and sometimes we play a few rounds of one game. We almost always play Uno. And the best part is that whenever we have company, they end up playing with us too. The kids absolutely love getting grandparents and aunts and uncles involved in our nighttime ritual and love even more when they win. See a list of our favorite family games here!

To say this has become one of the best times of the day would be an understatement. I won’t lie. There are days that I’m just so tired, I don’t want to put the work in of playing games. But the benefits are worth it.

The kids get the connection they need.

There is so much less fighting about bedtime.

They are learning about winning and losing gracefully.

We get to talk about our days and have some laughs before bedtime.

Plus there’s less screen time, which I love.

How’s your nighttime routine going? Does it leave you exhausted? Frustrated? Are your kids seeking more connection? Are you in constant battle of enforcing bedtime? I hope this post encourages you to start a new nighttime routine if yours isn’t working for you. Maybe games aren’t your thing, but maybe coloring together is, or something else even. But whatever you decide, I hope it brings your home more peace and your family more connection.

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