Today was an anxiety day. While I have my anxiety under control most of the time, there are some days where I am quite literally drowning in anxiety ocean. Today I was drowning. You know… tight chest, difficulty regulating my breathing, intrusive and racing thoughts, feeling like vomiting, etc. Prior to having children, I could mange myself during these times pretty well. But add in the kids and taking care of other humans in addition to taking care of myself on these days just really tips me over.
I’ve adapted some mantras over the years that seem to help a bit during these times. Times where I can’t just close myself in my room and hide from the world. I’ll never forget rocking one of my littles when he was just a baby. He was sick with a respiratory illness and cried for what seemed like forever unless I was rocking him. And so in the middle of the night, I rocked him and cried because I was so worried about him and his illness, but also going down the rabbit hole of am I doing enough? How could I have prevented this? Am I the worst mom ever? And on and on and on. And then something happened. This thought popped into my brain, I still have no idea where is came from. “In this moment, I’m okay.”
This has become my go to mantra. I say it out loud. When I say it out loud, it tends to drown out the other things racing through my brain. That night, I said it a countless amount of times, over and over and over, concentrating on every single individual moment. Every now and then I would start racing with thoughts again but I would catch myself and repeat it again.
“In this moment, I’m okay.”
Because in that moment, I WAS okay. Nothing bad was happening to me. I was comforting my child. I was taking care of him.
Since that night, I repeat this to myself frequently when I’m having an anxiety filled moment/day. I’ve also come up with some others that are sometimes more fitting in various moments. Maybe you could benefit from them too.
1. In this moment, I’m okay.
As stated above, this is my go to. Say it out loud on repeat and try to feel each moment as you say the word moment.
2. This is not an emergency.
Unless it is an emergency, but usually it’s not. It may FEEL like an emergency but if you’re not calling 911, it’s probably going to be okay. I usually remind myself of the non-emergency status just when I’m about to burst and it does help me to calm myself a bit. But also, I have been in actual emergency situations and remained calm, so I can DEFINITELY remain calm in a non-emergency.
3. I can do this.
I’ve noticed that when I’m in an anxiety crisis, I often hear myself saying “I can’t do this” over and over and over. So now when I notice that, I change it to “I CAN do this” and continue on my way.
4. Counting.
Okay maybe this one isn’t a mantra but I’ve noticed that if I start counting when I’m very anxious, my breathing starts to slow and I start to feel a little better. Literally may count to 500 but it gives me something else to focus on. Counting is considered a rote task as we learn it at a young age and tend to carry it with us through life as a task we really don’t have to think about doing. So when anxiety is hitting, counting gives me something to do that requires no mental energy but helps me slow down.
5. Smell the flowers, blow out the candles.
I learned this one from my Physical Therapy friends. It’s a method of breathing mostly used to help patients improve their oxygen but I find it helps me regulate my breathing. I say it slowly in my head and deeply inhale the whole time I say smell the flowers and exhale the whole time I say blow out the candles. It gives me something to concentrate on while I regulate my breathing.